Just Because. Announcing Baby Bluth #3

Yes, it's true. Yet, another reason I haven't been adding anything to the "blog."  It seems as though just when life was beginning to fall into place we decide it's time to shake things up.  SURPRISE, we are having another baby!

It has been no secret that trying to conceive hasn't always been the easiest thing for us and staying pregnant was even harder once we did. After making up my mind that batting .500 in the area of childbearing (two out of four) wasn't a bad thing I had my heart wrapped around my two boys and really found happiness.  I was ready to accept that our youngest would be our last and started planning for the future as our family of four. Our boys were bookended by miscarriages and they type that I had experience are difficult to explain and understand, unless you have been there. I could not do it again. The insurmountable stress was just too much.

.:When I have more time I will post more about the two miscarriages that we experienced and why they are somewhat unique. I'll link it here when I have time:.

Well life has a funny way of telling you-NOT! In late January I finally faced that fact that my time of the month was well over due and that I should face the music and take a test.  I think I was in denial for a lot of different reasons.  I was ready to have quality time with just #2 since #1 is starting Kindergarten in the Fall.  I was ready to start to work on my post babies body. I had healed from the heartache and learned to, simply put, be happy! I had let the part of me go, the part that wanted more kids.  Part of me wanted to live in denial/ignorance, that this was really happening-being pregnant.  I didn't want the heartache, I didn't want the stress. I didn't want to disappoint anyone yet again.  I didn't not have time for this or the strength. I was happy and then all of the sudden found myself in panic. I was a wreck. I even broke down in tears as I told Bryan instead of being crazy excited. I was soooo anxious, so unprepared.

In true fashion, the first few weeks were anything but a breeze.  I was all over the place mood wise.  I was sick, eating everything in sight, pretty much useless by the end of the day. Due to the nature of our history I was seen early at my doctor's office, starting at 6 weeks (since I finally decided to take a test). Blood work and ultra sounds were ordered up. Blood work came back normal. Then the US at week 8....abnormal.  Oh, no here we go again.  Same thing as all the other.

"We will have to wait two weeks and see if anything changes..." Cue tears. What should have been measuring at week 8 was measuring at week 5-no heartbeat either. The tech didn't let me see the screen the entire time. Not sure why, but that made it even worse because I couldn't even see with my own eyes what was really happening.  I just had to go off what she was saying. UGH! The wait and see game is like torture, literal torture. Meanwhile it meant more blood work. Again all coming back with rising levels-but then again so did all the others.

The night before my second ultrasound we told the adult members of each of our families so we could have their support.  I've always been wary about this since two of the four other times ended up feeling like a "lie" because of what had happened.  Both families were super supportive and prayed for us.  I knew whatever would happen that morning would be just what my Father in Heaven had designed for me and for my family.  I knew I needed to be ok either way and I knew it would be ok either way. My faith was in Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and that they have a plan for me.

Well obviously we received great news at the next appointment.  There was a heart beat and everything was measuring up to our original dating. I'm sure there is a reason for why things unfolded the way that they did for us, but I don't know exactly why they did.

Fast forward to our announcement to our friends and family. Not too long after our second was born I had this idea that if we ever had another baby I wanted to use Russian nesting dolls or matryoshka dolls to announce our third baby. I wasn't ever really sure we would get to do that, but if we were blessed to have three kids I knew exactly how I wanted to tell our kids and our friends and family. 

When we found out we were expecting in 2016/2017 I immediately ordered the dolls! I'm not even sure if I waited to ask Bry if he was ok with it or not. The dolls were originally a birthday gift for our oldest for his fourth birthday (2017) and how we were going to tell him of baby #3. Sadly they came the day we found out our 4th pregnancy wasn’t going to go to term. I came home from my appointment, having just finished my first trimester to the package from @sparrowandjay. 

Needless to say after opening it I threw it into the hall closet and walked upstairs to cry. I revamped all of his birthday gifts and plans as they were all based on sharing the news with him. The day after his fourth birthday I had my second d&c surgery and closed that part of my heart off. The dolls sat there in the box in the hall closet for quite sometime. It was just too hard to look at them. 

One day I decided that the four of the five dolls were just as important without the fifth and displayed them proudly in my office. This was our family-the four of us and I was happy. Somewhere along the way our path changed and now we feel so blessed (after some more tears and a rough first few dr visits) to be able to pull out the fifth and final piece of this set. With all that said, the four are still just as important and nothing will ever change that.

We are very excited to meet our caboose and become a family of five!  

And just for a fun recap here are the announcements from our first two:

#1 We did a fun photoshoot. The original post can be seen here. We told our families by rigging up a question and answer during the game called Things.  We have a video of their responses somewhere in the deep dark abyss of hard drives I'll have to dig up. 

#2 We made a cute video with our #1 spilling the beans (it was just around Easter). For our families we had our oldest wear a "Big Brother" shirt to family dinner and waited to see who would notice first. 

Up next... Gender Reveal. EEKKKK!